The Blog of Nugen MKIII

Just a quick post. Just checked into my hotel in Saigon. Down here for the about a fortnight for work and am super pumped to be back here. As you may recall my last visit here was ah-mazing.

It’s coming on nine pm, I am down here with a workmate from Boston, and another from Bangkok, and we are about to go hit some late night grilled seafood.

God I love this city. Hearing people speak Vietnamese like me is so damn good.

Over and out.

Oh. And p.s. my Japan photos might be a bit slow to arrive, if ever. I dropped my Macbook the other night whilst sleeping, and the hard drive imploded. I lost everything I ever had. Back up your shit regularly!

Well it was bound to happen if I stayed here long enough. In the last week I’ve had to unfortunately pay two bribes, and also fend off a couple of 50 year old aggressive pickpockets whilst I was trying to buy myself an ice cream.

Bribe one This bribe had to do with my taking a ‘wrong’ turn. At an in intersection where I’ve turned about 100 times straight in front of the permanently stationed traffic police booth. He asked for 300,000VND ($15), I said I could do 200,000 – and the deal was done. The alternative was get my motorbike impounded and be hauled down to the station for a shitfight. I don’t have a license here you see.

Bribe two This one had to do with electricity to my house. The other night I came home, and my housemate told me we were without power, and that we were the only ones in the block without it. Probably a bill issue. It was about 11.30pm so we couldn’t do anything. Do you know what it’s like to sleep in disgustingly humid, high-twenty degree heat with no airconditioning or fans? I had to open all my windows and cover my impressive body in insect repellent to ward off the inevitable onslaught. Then I would sleep for a few hours. Wake. Reapply. Sleep. Wake. Reapply. Spare a thought for two of my housemates who don’t actually have any windows. i.e no breeze. Oh, and the kicker? We ran out of bottled water. So we had no drinkable water. Aweeeesome. Anyways, the next morning I called the power company, and it wasn’t a bill issue, but something technical. So they sent a couple of dudes round, and turns out the power cable from my house to the power poles had exploded into flames the night before. Not really surprising to anyone who has seen a Vietnamese power line configuration. Although, in fairness – mine had been treated a little better. You see, to stop the rain shorting the fully-exposed wiring, someone had sheathed that part of the cables in slightly modified empty old bottles of water. Unfortunately the explosion the night before had melted that, so I can’t show you a photo of that. Anyways, upon inspection, the electrician said I needed new cables, but he couldn’t do it right then and there as the spare cabling he had on him was meant for someone else that day……..150,000VND and five minutes later  and that spare cabling was now encased in a new water bottle powering our house.

Pickpocketing The first two tales above I can deal with. This one left me feeling homicidal. I was lining up at Kem Trang Tien in the middle of town. Kind of an institution amongst the populace here. Great young rice flavoured ice cream. Anyways at night, it gets chaotic. Really chaotic. You basically have to box out kids and small women to get your order accepted. Thank god I have about a 30kg weight advantage of those people. And of course, here in Vietnam there is no concept of queues. Anyways last night I was standing amongst it, trying to get my order, and this middle-aged man was really stiff-arming me with his fistful of cash, trying to get it to the front. It was really odd and aggressive and after a while, I realised this motherfucker had no interest whatsoever in getting some young rice goodness. I had my messenger bag on me, and ripped it back around. At this point I saw his accomplice was trying to tuck into my bag. She was similarly aged and had her arm covered by a big jacket. They both looked quite well off. They now realized the jig was up, and tried to act casual at this point before eventually meandering away. My only regret is that I didn’t call them out for it then and there. So I am going to go back regularly now. With my messenger bag. And maybe just fill my bag with an open container of fucking acid. It’s my goal to catch these fuckwits out. ‘Scuse the language, but I really don’t have time for pickpockets.

Urgh. Japan post tomorrow.

Pretty busy at work these days hence the lack of a meaningful, entertaining blog post. I can’t seem to shake this extreme drowsiness that overcomes me each day at about 2pm. It might have to do with the fact that I am having a food coma actually. I just end up passing out then and there at my table and wake up with drool all over my face.

Talking about drool. Look what I had for lunch today. Each day our cook makes us a delicious meal and today she whipped up something a bit special. It was Banh Da Tron. Banh Da is basically the name of the noodle. I think it’s a wheat noodle? Alright – I actually have no idea what the noodle is comprised of. But it is from my experience a noodle used exclusively in the north. Anyways the tron basically means ‘mixed’ I am pretty sure. I should probably confirm that. Anyways – we are basically talking noodles with a bunch of fresh veggies, bean sprouts, fried tofu, sauteed beef and crumbed fried fish. There are a few variations of it, but this was the one today. And it was killer. And it was free. As are all my lunches at work. It was followed by free mango for everyone. And then me passing out.

When I’m not at work I am trawling for new friends at the 16-24yo Hanoi super-hotspot – Kem Trang Tien where they serve amazing young rice flavoured ice cream. A must-do when you are in Hanoi. Here is a photo of my mate Nomes in her splendid dress gorging on two at once. Nomnomnom

Frying my mind by day. Kicking back by dusk. Then frying my mind before bed.

Not all fun and games friends. But when it is. It be mighty good.

About to hit the sack here in India. Arrived last night into Delhi airport and missed my pick up, so I had to sit outside for two hours waiting for my driver to return. Needless to say I met all sorts of characters sitting outside Delhi airport trying not to pass out. Quite a place.

Anyways, got to my hotel last night at about one in the morning and had to be up for a full day of workshops at seven. Six hours of sleep are not enough for me. Especially when I spend the day in a windowless conference room with a bunch of scientists discussing pigs, feeds and project planning. By the end of the day, my head felt like exploding.

Lucky then that the hotel we are in, about 30km outside of Delhi is quite damn amazing. Imagine an old Indian fort which has been converted into a bunch of villa-esque blocks, and thats the Manesar Heritage Village Resort.

I spent the early evening having some drinks with my colleagues, and I can now undoubtedly say, that amongst all my friends, I am easily the most well-versed in the Vietnamese smallholder pig industry now. Quite a claim which I am no doubt going to leverage when meeting ladies back in Sydney next year.

Apart from educating me on run-of-the-mill agriculture, my co-workers also had some rather great stories to tell about their work here there and everywhere. Probably the pick of the lot was where a colleague was working in northeast India about a decade ago on pig nutrition, and specifically how smallholders were confronting the growing issue of anorexic pigs in the region. She recounted an encounter she had with a farmer, and when she asked her how they were overcoming it, the Indian woman, in a very nonplussed way, just pulled out a few branches of marijuana and let the researcher do the math.

Anyways, after that cracker of a tale, I will leave you now with a photo I took by the pool earlier tonight.

Laters suckers

In the morning I am off to Delhi for a work trip for a week or so. Sounds exotic, but I will definitely just be pent up in the hotel just outside of Delhi all week, attending a conference, eating three meals a day in the hotel, and yeah, not really getting to see Delhi at all.  Oh well, at least it gives me a chance to clock up some more Thai Airways Frequent Flyer points.

It might also provide me with an opportunity to write up a couple of blog posts about my recent trip to Japan which I know you are all dying to hear about.

I would’ve got around to it earlier, but since arriving back on Tuesday, I’ve been rather damn busy with work actually. Which is definitely a good thing, and a nice change as strange as that might sound.

The highlight of the week probably would’ve been Wednesday morning, when I was touring 40degree pig pens and slaughterhouses with a group of scientists. Christ. I am getting annihilated by mosquitoes right now. I just killed three on me. Anyways – yeah, quite an enjoyable field trip despite being soaked head to toe in sweat (the Hanoi summer has definitely arrived), and having to be in close proximity to pigs, which are seriously vile creatures.

Thank god they taste so damn good.

Anyways, short post again tonight as I need to get some sleep so I have enough energy to gorge on Bangkok street food during my layover tomorrow afternoon.

Photos!

I remember on days gone by, I used to get a great kick out of the fact that the friend I’d travel with would get absolutely ravaged by mosquitoes every time we entered the tropics. They would make a point of bathing in repellent hourly to try and hold off the bites, whilst I sat aside laughing at them and taunting them with my unappealing blood which rendered me immune.

Wellllll. Karma be a bitch.

You see, Hanoian mosquitoes seemingly don’t give a shit about blood types. I’ve quickly learnt post-winter, that if I go to sleep with a window open, and haven’t literally lathered myself in repellent, I actually struggle to stay asleep as I am covered in bites within half an hour of passing out. Take now for instance, where I just woke up after an hour of sleep with about 20 bites on my shoulders from those filthy bloodsuckers.

Just you wait mosquitoes. I am going to go out in the morning and fill my room with those bug zapping lamps and sleep in a constant soothing fluorescent glow for the rest of summer.

Checkmate you assholes.